When my son was still a baby, I thought that the toughest part of being a mom was breastfeeding and changing diapers. Toilet-training? What’s that?
So when my son turned two and I realised some of his peers were already being toilet trained, I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t ask my mom or mom-in-law for help (not that they don’t want to help, they are just unable to), so I sought advice from friends and got information from books and websites.
But to be honest, I’m not one of those hardworking moms who would pour over tonnes of books to learn how to do it. So when it comes to the ‘mechanisms‘ of toilet training my son, it was more of experimenting and see what works.
We got him a potty but he refused to use it. He treats it as a toy instead! So I decided to plonk him directly on the “great white throne” and without a trainer seat. I had wanted to buy one but after what some fellow Singapore mom bloggers shared with me, I decided not to get one and it worked fine!
Thankfully, I’m now midway through the toilet-training. My 2.5 year-old son goes diaper-free most times except during his afternoon nap and night time. But these days, he would usually wake up with a dry diaper, so I think it’s more of my issue than his. However, if we are out for long, I still put him in diapers. I fumbled a few times in helping him pee in public toilets and got his pants wet so I decided I need more practice before letting him go diaper-free when we are out.
And I must really thank my fellow Singapore mom bloggers for sharing generously with me their experience and tips. So I decided to put together some useful tips from them under three main areas of concerns of toilet training. Read on to find out how to toilet train toddlers:
1. When to start toilet training?
Jean Chua: During olden days, babies are trained earlier. They were put on the potty at a specify timing everyday to do their ‘business’ till their bodies get into the routine. We can do that too but I feel if a child is not ready, then we will have a harder time.
A child is more or less ready around 2 year-old for going diaper-free in the day and around 3, 4 year-old for the night. Some might even be earlier if parents work hard on it.
Having a child who is ready also prevents developing any unpleasant experiences that may end up making him feel put off by the whole thing. I also think that having a less resistant child would make toilet training easier.
Susan Koh: I think children will be ready when they are ready. We tried potty training our girl at 2 and didn’t have realistic expectations. In the end we were frustrated and she was very scared to poo in her diapers and ended up being constipated for almost a year! Thankfully, she’s toilet trained for the day and most nights since she was almost 3.
2. Potty or trainer seat?
Dominique Goh:I’ve done without the potty and there’s less cleaning up if you use the trainer seat. It will also be easier to train your child to use public toilets later on.
Sharon Lavender: We skipped the potty. My boys poo on the “throne” and without trainer seat, just an IKEA stool for resting their feet so they will not fall backwards into the toilet bowl!
Jean: I used a potty for my first kid and half way through, I just put her on the toilet bowl. Tried the trainer seat but realized the hole is too small to wash her butt when she pooped so skipped that after a few tries. When it comes to my second child, I skipped both potty and trainer seat.
Ming Yuan: All along I used the trainer seat as it’s easier to clean. But the success rate was not too high as I have to keep asking and prompting my girl and sometimes she thinks it’s a hassle so she rather goes in her diaper. But once, she saw her cousin used the potty and decided to use the potty too as she can “self-help”. But after potty-training, she will use the adult toilets too when we’re outside so I guess it’s just a step-by-step for us.
3. Night time toilet training
Amie Chen: For night time toilet training, I would wake my girl up shortly after midnight to go to the toilet. I also stop letting her wear training diapers. But I have to consistent in the night training (which means I have to wake her up every night) until she is able to do it herself. You can use the waterproof mattress. I recently bought the saddle type of waterproof mattress cover & changing it is a breeze for me (see the waterproof mattress here).
Jean: When we did night time toilet training with our son, we talked to him of what we were going to do together. We explained and prayed with him and proceeded that very day. He saw me laid a waterproof sheet underneath his bed sheet and asked, so I explained to him.
Then, we reduced the amount of milk he drinks at night and made him go toilet just before bedtime. We woke him three hours later to go toilet again. For the first week, he went to toilet twice. For the second week, I overslept and totally didn’t wake him for his second round, he also slept through. The next morning, I jumped up from bed, thinking that he must have wet himself, thankfully, he didn’t. He was able to hold till morning.
These days, if he can’t hold, he will go to toilet himself and return to bed. I believe every child has their own pace and timing in learning something.
Another tip is let the child go without diaper during afternoon naps first. Once that is fine, transit to night. Night toilet training might be slightly longer if the child is not ready, so go easy. If it doesn’t work, try again when he is older.
Jennifer Lim: Night time toilet training was a headache for me. My son urinated on his bed so many times that the mattress stinks.
A nurse once told my hubby that when a child is ready for going night toilet he will do it naturally. True enough, when my son was 5 year-old he woke up in the middle of the night to go toilet himself. Also, I leave a tap light on in the toilet so he can turn on the light when he goes to the toilet.
4. Other tips
Jennifer: It’s important to reassure a child that it’s ok to accidentally pee in his pants or wet the bed. Also, getting underwear with their favourite character helps. I got Bob the Builder for my son and told him, “You don’t want Bob to be wet right?’ It helped to some extent but there were still “accidents”.
Dominique: There is a potty training CD + book that I used before that is quite effective. Here’s the website.
Do you have any other tips on how to toilet train toddlers? Please share them!
Hi! I'm Ruth.
I love hanging out at cafes. It's where I have heart-to-heart talks with friends, chill out with my hubby, spend solitary moments with a book in hand, do my work, plan my future and very often, to people-watch.
In starting this blog, I hope to create a cosy virtual space to share about my life after becoming a WAHM - the mundane and the not so mundane and lessons I am learning along the journey. 
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I guess my girl wasn’t ready when she was 2. We took the potty out and she dumped her toys in. *Faintz*
We used let the girl go diaper free and tried to use the toilet directly but she hogs the toilet for a long time because she wants to flush her waste.
In the end, we have to switch back to the potty, it works when we encourage with stickers.
Now, after one month of training, I am proceeding to use the toilet since she can voice out her need to use the potty. And, she finally understand toilet is not meant for playing. *phew*
The next step, I will probably try is to let her go diaper free in school. Have to discuss with the teachers.
I like the tip on using stickers as encouragement! My boy played with his potty too, as you can see from the photo above
Yes, getting support from teachers in the toilet training is important, hope it all goes smoothly!
We’re doing Elimination Communication with our 8-month-old, and it seems to really suit him. Not sure though how it will carry through into toddlerhood. Best-case scenario, he’ll be potty trained by 18 months. Can’t wait!
I think that’s great! I do think that we don’t really have to wait till they are ready. They didn’t wait in the olden days! But I guess as more and more moms work full time, things like toilet training just got delayed as we are too tired or swamped. Hope your son gets potty trained soon!
Ooo the night time potty training tips are pretty good, will definitely bear this in mind when its my turn to do it =)
Glad you found the tips useful!
My daughter is afraid of the potty so I guess she’s not ready. Or perhaps I should try plonking her on the toilet seat like what some of the mums shared.
I think readiness is one of the most important keys to successful toilet training. I toilet trained my son when he was almost 3 and he was diaper free in the day in less than a month. It happened smoothly and naturally so much so that I kind of expected the same for my daughter. Well, she’s only 21 months old and he was almost 3 when he was trained so I guess I should be more patient. I was just thinking about all the money I can save on diapers if she gets trained early
I know many moms believe in waiting till the child is ready. I think while it might be easier when the child is older, there should be no harm in starting early. But if the child shows great dislike for a certain method, then stop and try something else. Indeed, saving money on diapers was one of my motivation to start without waiting for my boy to be ready
Great tips here, Ruth. I haven’t gone down this route yet, though I know I must as my toddler is already 2 1/2. I just haven’t been able to commit myself because of the baby. He’s already going through so much with the transition, I didn’t want to stress him (or myself) out. So we’re aiming to start before he turns 3. I think we’ll go the toilet training seat way as he plays with the potty like it’s a toy!
Thanks Alison! Learning from the moms’ experiences helped me quite a bit. My boy plays with the potty too, wonder is it a boy thing? Hope potty training your son will be easy as a breeze for you!
Really useful tips here, Ruth. For me what works was following my son’s lead. I mean we can read and read and read until we got even more frustrated. My son did pretty good with No. 1 but when it comes to No. 2 it took him awhile to finally said he’s ready. We tried to coaxed him even bribed him but that doesn’t work hahaha until one day he said “Mommy, I want to go poo-poo in the toilet!” That was like a giant victory for all of us
Seems like many moms will wait till their children are ready before potty training
I can imagine how happy you must be when your son finally did it!
Thanks for consolidating all the advice! My girl is 20 months old and we have been making half hearted attempts at putting her on the potty since she’s 1, no luck yet. And I’m in the same situation as you with no help from parents. According to my mum she doesn’t even remember using a diaper on me in the day, but she doesn’t remember how she got there. I think the nanny was responsible for it.
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Elaine, glad you found the tips useful
Same thing with my mom, she can’t remember how she toilet-trained me! So it was all up to me. You can do it too!
This round up of tips is REALLY helpful. My son is turning 2 soon, so I’ve been reading up on potty/toilet training. We had a few moments of success during a few trials – managed to anticipate a poo and let him sit on the potty to do it… then I made a BIG deal out of it, he was so excited, and was eager to ‘study’ his poo before I tipped it into the toilet.
I’ll be launching into it “officially” now that the weather is turning warmer in Australia, so he can run around in just his underwear to make it easier.
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My boy would also asks take a look at his poop before I flush it away *lol* I hope your toilet-training goes really smoothly!
Wahaha… Love that photo!!! Potty seat over his head!!!
Haha, yes, that was cute
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